


Not a People-Pleaser

by RobberBaroness



Series: Into the Esther-Verse [1]
Category: Megillat Ester | Book of Esther, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Megillat Ester Fusion, Collection: Purimgifts Day 1, F/M, Mashup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:27:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobberBaroness/pseuds/RobberBaroness
Summary: "We're part of humanity.  We can't just opt out!"
Relationships: Chidi Anagonye/Eleanor Shellstrop
Series: Into the Esther-Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109912
Comments: 10
Kudos: 18
Collections: Purimgifts 2021





	Not a People-Pleaser

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jonphaedrus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonphaedrus/gifts).



“You know what? I give up. I can’t do this.” Eleanor paced back and forth in the judge’s hall, as Chidi patiently waited with his arms crossed. “I am not a people-pleaser! People-manipulator, sure, maybe I can pull that off, but the Judge isn’t people! She’s basically a god-”

“Definitely omnipotent,” said Chidi, “but I don’t think omniscient or omnibenevolent.”

“Yeah, sure, she’s that. And I’m supposed to just put on my nicest smile and say ‘Hey, before you make any judgement calls on behalf of all humanity, do you want to have a party?"

“She might say yes! She did seem really bored.”

“Okay, so let’s assume she says yes for a second instead of sending me straight down to the Bad Place, or the void or the time knife or wherever else she throws people who annoy her. Then I have to wine and dine and dance her until she’s so buzzed that she’ll listen when I get up, point to Sean, and say ‘This dink is trying to torture me and all of humanity forever!’ What if she still doesn’t care?” Eleanor went over to Chidi and took his hands, wearing a pleading look on her face. “Come on, babe, can’t we just run away somewhere? This is a big place, this- afterlife or space or whatever. We go, we find a nice quiet planet and hide out until everyone’s forgotten about us. We could even go back to Mindy Saint Clair’s house! Just sit on her couch for the rest of eternity watching _Cannonball Run II_. It’s not great, but it’s a lot better than eternal damnation!”

Chidi held Eleanor in his arms, doing his best to be steady and comforting. It was a difficult task, but considering all the times Eleanor had helped him through his own anxiety attacks, it was the least he could do.

“Look, honey,” he said, “I’m scared, too. And yeah, I would give anything to just never be involved in any of this again, but that’s not how this works. We can’t abandon humanity to its fate because we’re part of humanity! We can’t just opt out! And even if we could, would you really want to?”

“Yes, of course!” Eleanor said on instinct. Then she sighed and groaned. “No, I guess not really. Fork this shirt. I hate having you beside me to dispense wisdom and sage advice.”

“Others have said very similar things, but usually they don’t sound like compliments.” Chidi kissed Eleanor on the forehead. “Do you want me to do this instead of you?”

“Ugh, no way, you’d freeze up even more than I would. We just need to think up a better plan-” Eleanor was interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open and the Judge’s heels clicking on the floor. She turned around to look at the woman-adjacent being who was the first and most powerful sentient being in the entire universe, and said the only thing she could say.

“Hey,” said Eleanor, putting on her nicest smile. “Before you make any judgement calls on behalf of all humanity, do you want to have a party?”

> 


End file.
